Grocery Store Wars

I should search out as many parodies as I can . . .but that's too much like work. Instead I'll just link them as I find them.

The following piece is brought to you by the Organic Trade Association

Link

Long, but funny

"Sexy" Cheerleading bill won't see the light

A while back I introduced you to HB-146. A bill that passed the Texas House to limit sexy moves in public schools. It came down to a "We'll know it when we see it and then we'll stop it" kind of thing.

The Senate has a little more sense I guess.

"We have some very important work to do in the next two weeks, and that's
not one of them," Republican state Sen. Florence Shapiro, who chairs the education committee, said Friday.

The fact is that parents can put a stop to bad behavior in a number of ways. But you'll have to spend time with your child and attend a rehearsal or two

1. Tell the sponsor you don't like the move.
2. Tell the other parents that you think the moves are inappropriate for your child's age.
   You may become unpopular with tea parents that don't care or don't want to stifle their child's creativity.
3. Tell your child they are not allowed to be part of the group.
   They may hate you again.

Being a parent that cares is not easy. I've got four daughters, ages 18, 16, five, and two. And there are lots of days when it would be so much easier to give in and let bad behavior go.

I want my children to be better people than me. So I make hard choices hoping they will learn from them.

Border Patrol told to stand down in Arizona -- The Washington Times

Amazing. Simply amazing.
Just one more example of the sham called homeland security.

Because the Militiamen did so well, the border patrol has been told not to patrol the same area so the civilian project does not appear successful.

Not Safe for bunny lovers

How many ways can a bunny whack itself? I couldn't stop scrolling.

More . . .

Magic Water

I think that the water at the office should be treated with a blue tint. One that can only be removed with soap. A dye like dentists give kids to chew after they brushed their teeth. I believe this would cut back on the fallacy of magic water. Magic water is the water that comes out of the sink and kills any germs or bacteria without the use of soap.

I'm amazed how many of my co-workers believe in magic water. And they disgust me. And those people who are on their way out of the restroom and do a little jog to the sink as they see someone coming in; ugh.

Now we get personal . . . you've been warned.

I shower in the morning. And I put on clean shorts. I'm clean when I leave the house. Throughout the day I open doors, I share keyboards. I might pump gas using a nozzle that has been touched by millions of people and never been cleaned.
My hands get dirty. Germ and bacteria covered. I wouldn't eat off those hands.
So I wash my hands before I eat. And . . . I wash my hands before I use the restroom. And I wash them when I'm done.

Everything important is clean. And I would be willing to take the blue water test.

Miriam takes a lap

Miriam was jealous when she saw the picture of Gwendolyn on her bike.

"My turn, my turn, MY TURN!"

So here you are, my impatient little imp.

Texas OnLine Lottery Bill fails

We spoke about the bill before the Texas House here. It looks like there is some sense in Texas Government.

Of course we still have bills like HB 146 that

" . . .relates to promoting and furthering self-respect in middle and high school students by prohibiting sexually suggestive performances by dance, drill, cheerleading or any other performance group at school sponsored events. "

How are we going to define "sexually suggestive"? The bill's author, Rep. Al Edwards, also a Democrat from Houston, responded by noting that the activity that would be banned "is like sex -- you'll know it when you see it."

I can see it now, there will be two groups of people volunteering to observe rehearsals; prudes, parents, and perverts. And the smallest group represented will be the parents.

TSA asking for Name & B-day

A U.S. Army soldier comforting a child

Iraq on Yahoo! News Photos

Picture released by the U.S. Army Tuesday, May 3, 2005 shows a U.S. Army soldier comforting a child fatally wounded in a car bomb blast in Mosul, 360 km (225 miles) northwest of Baghdad, Iraq, Monday, May 2, 2005. 15 Iraqis were wounded in the combined suicide bomb attack.
(AP Photo/U.S. Army)

I have no words . . .

Don't Let Texas Legalize High Cost Payday Loans

From Consumers Union:

Texas legislators are about to consider HB 846, a bill being pushed by payday lenders. The bill would legalize interest rates of more than 700 percent in Texas by authorizing payday loans under Texas law.

Payday loans are short-term, high-interest loans that are supposed to tide you over between paydays. But the interest rates on these loans exceed 700 percent, and often trap borrowers in a cycle of debt. On average, payday loan borrowers make between 8 and 13 of these
loans each year. Frequently borrowers can only afford to make the interest payment and make no progress paying off the original debt.

---

These loans are evil. There is no other word for them. If you are in Texas, let your representation know that you think this is a bad idea; an evil idea.

If you are not a Texan, see what your state's laws are and try to put a stop to it. Those readers I have in Wisconsin, congratulations to you for having a governor that stands up for the poor there.
The Federal Trade Commission has some hints to avoid using these services.

Here's a report on a study (I couldn't find much in the way of statistics on the web, which concerns me) from 2002 that describes the situation pretty well (as far as I understand it).

The facts are that users of the loans look at the fee for the loan, not the interest. And the loan companies know that their target consumer will likely have to roll over the loan a time or two. The APR then kills the borrower. And as far as profits go. The research I did shows a profit of around 35%.

Deadbeat cookie sales: Girl Scouts sue to recoup money

Man! The Girl Scouts are tough in Wisconsin! They are suing the families of Girls Scouts that have not turned in thier money and buyers that have bounced checks. One suit is claiming $1,485.68 - cookies plus damages. That's a lot of thin mints! {420 boxes for those who were wondering.}

Waukesha - A usually unseen side of the Girl Scouts' annual cookie sale surfaced
Thursday when the Great Blue Heron Council of the organization filed small-claims lawsuits accusing two couples and three women of not ponying up for goodies they ordered.

"Please note that non-payment for Girl Scout cookies represents fraud," the council noted in form letters that preceded the legal action, according to the lawsuits. "We are willing to work with you to set up a repayment plan; however, you must call within the next two weeks to make these arrangements. Link

On being happy

Last month I was involved in an email chain amongst some friends and I was led to respond. Alice has been having extra-ordinary bad luck; out of work, chronic pain, car troubles, kid troubles, lots of pain in her past. Bob thought his troubles were worse and was wondering how to be happy.

Email is probably not the best way to answer you Bob, but I'm going to take a shot anyway.

Alice has more faith in God than anyone I have ever known. I look up to her as a model for the kind I faith I want. But I would be hard pressed to say she is doing well. She has had a hard past and a tough present and none of us can imagine her future. But her life is filled with joy, and hope, and love.

You're in a tough spot too. You seem to be so unhappy. And I wish I could help but I have learned that happiness really does come from within.

When I was stuck in jobs I hated; I looked how I could do my job better and learn something and serve others. And at the same time I looked for other jobs. When I was working three jobs and still losing money; buying rotten potatoes so I could eat the good parts and filling my pockets with ketchup from McDonalds to make soup later; I moved across the country and started over.

I remember thinking that I needed an education to get ahead. I thought about prison as a step up from where I was; food every day, TV, a degree.

When I became unhappy with my social life; my friends, the things I was doing; I made a choice to do other things. And I lost friends and was lonely.

When my sister died and my parents divorced and made poor choices; I had to stretch to find the blessings in my life.

I find them every day now. Today is a good day Bob. Today can be a great day if you look for the little things and find joy in them.

A few things that might help (I have done or am doing them all):

• Twelve step programs. I don't care what someone's problems are, they are awesome steps
• Prayer
• Living this life as if it were penance. Or maybe a step towards heaven. Either way, live a good life, do good works, actively try to bring joy or faith or hope or love to others
• Volunteer with those who have lost more than you.
• Smile.
• Tell other people good things when they ask "How's it going?"
• Never complain about Mondays and never wait for Fridays. If you don't like doing what you do Monday through Friday you are doing the wrong thing. Maybe you should be building shelters in Sri Lanka?
• Go to 1/2 priced books and pick up 14,000 Things to be Happy About if you need some help finding happy things. Or you can have my copy and I'll buy a new one for myself.
• Stop eatingmeat. {Just kidding}

I want you to be happy Bob. I want to help. I wish I was more empathetic or sympathetic. But it's not about me and my choices. It's about you and yours.

I used to have a poem on my wall. It went something like this:

Look well to THIS day.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But TODAY well lived
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, THIS day.

Good luck on the journey you are on Bob. You have options; walk alone, walk with us, walk with God. But sometime you have to just get off your ass and walk. :-) And smile while you do it. {Even if you are faking it, someone will smile back, then you really smile . . .and everyone has a better day} .

God bless you Bob,
God bless you Alice,
God bless us everyone. We all need it.

Gwendolyn cuts a turn

For Michael . . .

Texas Lottery on line

What a brilliant idea! Let people lose money on-line! As long as the state is going to let the masses give money, they might as well make it easy. Right?

April 26, 2005, 6:37AM

Texas closer to selling lottery tickets
online
Associated Press

AUSTIN — Texas would become the first state to sell lottery tickets online under legislation has received approval by a state legislative panel.

Under the bill approved by the state House Appropriations Committee on Monday, players also would be able to pay for lottery tickets with a debit card and establish a Texas Lottery Commission account that would draw down as they bought tickets.
The proposal was inserted in a larger bill, which would allow motorists to display one license plate on the rear of a vehicle.

Rep. Jim Pitts, the committee chairman and bill author, said Internet sales of lottery
tickets would earn an additional $100 million a year. The lottery raised $1 billion last year for schools.

Rep. Carlos Uresti, D-San Antonio, a supporter of the bill, described its chances in the full House as 50-50.

Rep. Myra Crownover, R-Denton, objected to the proposal, saying it could give children access to buying tickets and easier access could fuel gambling addictions.

And another thing; the lotto funds go to the General fund and are marked for education. But once in the general fund they are available to any other program.

Guess-the-Google

What a great game! You have to guess the keyword that generated the google images presented. My first score was 197. The high is 397.

Leave your score in the comments.

The Penguins are Coming!!

Sometimes profiling works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think in the case of these guys . . . we are all a little safer.

Link Courtesy of boingboing.net

Sick Day/Game Day

Strep throat is no fun. But I think I caught it early and I'm not hurting too badly. Susan has been awesome taking care of me. Last night she made oatmeal cookies for me. This morning I had to work, and she made and brought me coffee. She's the best. I can't believe she loves me as much as she does. I don't ask questions anymore; I just accept it.

Game time:

This game reminds me of a time when I was doodling spaceships when I should have been studying.




This one I played as a text-based adventure years ago too. And with the current hype (or lack of) for the new movie . . .

What makes a requirements document

A Slashdot reader asked what made a good requirements document. The following response was more true to what I've experienced. I thought I would share.

1. Talk to the various stakeholders. Hold meetings. Get everyone's input on what's the Right Thing To Do.
2. To the degree these ideas are not the Wrong Thing, do them, even if they're less efficient than you'd like, or are less fun to code. You're going to be giving them a prostate exam with a cheese grater in a couple of steps, so soothe their egos proactively by letting their ideas make it into the final product.
3. Take the draft to your dev team. Circulate copies, have everyone read it, then have a short meeting--one hour, tops--not to discuss how to do things, but which parts of the design will require a lot of experimentation and fiddling.
4. If your dev team doesn't already have someone fluent in Corporate Weaselspeak, then get one.
5. Give your translator this sentence: "We will use our magic powers to accomplish this part of the design document." Have him turn it into a five-page monstrosity that lets every stakeholder think these difficult parts are going to be done their way, without really committing your dev team to anything.
6. Take the weaselized design doc back to the stakeholders. Your Corporate Weasel's job is to make the stakeholders sign off on it.
7. The easy and routine parts of the job get done the way the stakeholders want, assuming their way isn't completely braindamaged. The hard parts of the job will be solved by your development team's magic powers. It's right there in the design document.
8. Bring the project to completion. As you're doing the hard part, write This Is How It Really Works documentation for engineers who are coming after you.
9. When your project is ready for handoff, make sure to praise the (easy, routine) parts for which you used Marketing's ideas of how the software ought to be written.
10. Gloss over the fact that you did the hard part via magic powers. The other stakeholders probably don't care. You're giving them a beautiful bullet point for their end-of-year performance eval. That's what they care about at this point.
11. Move on to the next project. ...

Is all this weasel office politics? Damn straight. On the other hand, it's weasel office politics meant to shield your development team from unnecessary weasel office politics. As much as we hate weasel office politics, sometimes it's necessary.

Site Updates

I'm oftentimes fascinated by the google ads on some of the blogs I read. I don't think that I'll often generate enough traffic to make much money of them but I am now part of the many using AdSense by Google. I'm not asking you to click on the links, but if you see an interesting ad associated with a post, drop me a line.

I've also added MapBlog. You'll see a map of where I am and other registered blogs in my vicinity. It was developed by a MapPoint developer at Microsoft. If your in the area, drop me a note; we'll discuss the topic of the day.

Current reading list

Red Storm Rising - Tom Clancy: I just started this again. I was in the mood for something light and Clancy always fits the bill for me.

Asimov's Guide to the Bible - Isaac Asimov: You want the history around the Bible. This is your book. The book is a bit dated, but when one writes about a book 2000 years old . . . the dating is not so much an issue.

Island of the Day Before - Umbreto Eco: This is the book on the back burner. I'm reading it, but it's hard. I really enjoyed The Name of the Rose and Baudolino by Eco. Interesting, fun reads. With a taste of European history thrown in. I've started Island a few times over the last few years. I can never finish it. It just goes on . . . and on . . . and on. The only other books I have started and not finished are Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and some mystery about a female FBI agent that my sister gave me. I don't remember why I quit on Zen. I think it was because I was expecting so much more than it was. The FBI chick book spent more time on feelings than on suspense. Ugh.

Next on the list: If on a Winter Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino. It was recommended by my cousin Lisa, whom I love. After that I think will be System of the World by Neal Stephenson. The first book in the series rocked, the second was enjoyable. I'm hoping that Jack plays a more prominent role in the third.