"We never conversate"

A while back, my eldest daughter complained that her mother, she, and I never conversated. The situation (conversation) was important enough that I didn't pursue the entomology of the word with her then. Truth is though, it gnawed at me.

Susan felt the same way(to a degree) as I did. We even conversed about it a few times with a wink and a nudge.

So . . . off to the internets!

From Langmaker:

Word: conversate
Part of Speech: v.
Other Forms: conversating
Etymology: [Backformation: The -ion suffix is removed from standard English conversation.]
Definition: To converse with another: We conversated about our plan, then decided to take the steamroller anyway.
Submitted By: Gracie
Date Submitted: Wednesday, August 18, 2004

So I guess this falls into the same category as irregardles and literally. Misused words that will migrate into use and become "real." No extreme harm. Communication remains possible. We just have one more instance of English being one crazy language.

Choose your own Adventure: Hamlet edition

There is a guy names Robin Johnson who has written a text adventure a la' Zork for Hamlet.

I have started it a few time and will someday finish. {Something I also said about Zork in 1981 or so . . . but this time I mean it.}.

From the game's opening:

It's so unfair! You're in trouble again, just because you called your uncle
- or rather, your new stepfather, Claudius - a usurping git. It's true, though.
Your real dad was SO much better than that guy. Too bad he was found
mysteriously dead in the orchard a couple of weeks back. Anyway, your mother
(who was, incidentally, looking quite something today in a sparse leather
number, er...) sent you to your room, and here you are. [game]

I used to really like the "Choose your own adventure" books. Although after playing one path I would usually read them cover to cover and try to guess the paths to and from each page. I had a few that you had to roll die for. They were like D&D for readers with no friends. That was me. :-)

I played D&D as a young teen but never had a good enough dungeon master to make me stick. I was too intellectual for them anyway . . . The guys I played with wanted to fight ogres, I was more interested in being a character different from myself. It never worked out.

A few months ago I ran into the designer of Adventure, Scott Adams online via chat. We were both trying to get an application called Multiplicity to work. He was looking to use it with EverQuest2 and I wanted it for my tablet PC . It was very cool just talking to a guy who had killed hours of my life reading and thinking and playing; all at the same time.

Who knew the levee would break?

I have a correction and some updates to the audio blog. Blame the mistakes on hearing the story in the car with Houston traffic distracting me. [should I admit that? Should it be reversed?].

The point of the blog is the same and I'm leaving it as it was originally recorded. It's not the federal government's job to fix problems at the state level. And before we talk about what the feds didn't do, let's look at the pork in Louisiana.

Correction: The person testifying was not the governor of LA, it was the Senior senator of same, Mary L. Landrieu (D).

Testimony: (mp3); text (I need to state here that the audio feed provided by the senator is significantly different from the Senate transcript. Take it for what it is worth.)
Mr. Bill skit referred to by Sen. Landrieu

WSJ: Blame Amid the Tragedy

My mother passed this opinion piece from the Wall Street Journal on to me. While it specifically discusses the failures of local government during Katrina and the flooding that followed, it also speaks to the role of the federal government in situations like this.

Blame Amid the Tragedy by Bob Williams

As the devastation of Hurricane Katrina continues to shock and sadden the nation, the question on many lips is, Who is to blame for the inadequate response?

As a former state legislator who represented the legislative district most impacted by the eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980, I can fully understand and empathize with the people and public officials over the loss of life and property.

Many in the media are turning their eyes toward the federal government, rather than considering the culpability of city and state officials. I am fully aware of the challenges of having a quick and responsive emergency response to a major disaster. And there is definitely a time for accountability; but what isn't fair is to dump on the federal officials and avoid those most responsible--local and state officials who failed to do their job as the first responders. The plain fact is, lives were needlessly lost in New Orleans due to the failure of Louisiana's governor, Kathleen Blanco, and the city's mayor, Ray Nagin.

The primary responsibility for dealing with emergencies does not belong to the federal government. It belongs to local and state officials who are charged by law with the management of the crucial first response to disasters. First response should be carried out by local and state emergency personnel under the supervision of the state governor and his emergency operations center. The actions and inactions of Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin are a national disgrace due to their failure to implement the previously established evacuation plans of the state and city. Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin cannot claim that they were surprised by the extent of the damage and the need to evacuate so many people. Detailed written plans were already in place to evacuate more than a million people. The plans projected that 300,000 people would need transportation in the event of a hurricane like Katrina. If the plans had been implemented, thousands of lives would likely have been saved. [more]

I'm a federalist at heart weighted towards the local levels. In fact, I think the feds should be as far away from my life as possible. It's job is to

". . . establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense,
promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves
and our Posterity. . ."

Government should work from the bottom up. It should start from my community association (rat bastards!), to mayor and city council, to Governor and state legislators, an THEN to the Federal government.
In fact, government should start at he family level . . . but then we'd have to define more than I want to define. (A co-dictatorship with my wife and I?)

Could FEMA have done better? Yes.
Should it have? Yes.
Do I have any faith that the Department of Homeland Security? No.
Is there enough blame to go around? Yes.
Will anything really change? That depends on how people vote at the local level and up from there.

Odawg on Orleans

My friend Owen lives in Noew Orleans with his wife Lucie. The following is an email he sent out. Permission to post was requested and granted

Last night, I began writing a very angry email about all
the things I'm upset with regarding this disaster. Fortunately, Lucie advised me
that it would be best to sleep on it. I'm glad I did. I'll get to the things I'm
upset about, but first, here's a list of things I'm grateful for right
now.

1. We're safe, our friends we have spoken to are safe, nobody we know
is unaccounted for as far as we know, and our pets are with us.

2. By all accounts, our uptown neighborhood is still high and
dry.

3. I'm grateful for all of the police, fire, USCG, medical, national guard,
volunteers, and civil servants who stayed behind to try to deal with this mess.
Their efforts have been heroic in many cases.

4. We're very grateful for the warm welcome we have received from family,
friends, and strangers here in Houston. We've been moved beyond words by the
hospitality and aid we've received.

5. We're most grateful for all of the prayers, emails, and phone calls of
concern we've received. It means a lot to us.

6. We're grateful I have a job. I'll get started again this
afternoon.

So keep in mind, while you're reading my negative stuff below, that Lucie
and I are in good spirits and we're optimistic about our future. We're in better
shape than a lot of people, probably most actually, and we should be
fine.

Now, for the things that are upsetting me.

1. The people who chose to stay behind.

Tens of thousands of people in New Orleans don't own cars. We know several
in our neighborhood. Others have cars, but can't afford to drive far or stay in
a hotel. And as in any city, there are plenty of elderly, infirm, and home bound
people who simply can't evacuate without a lot of help.

The city's
hurricane plan accounted for these people. Long before the evacuation order was
given, the city began issuing instructions for those who could not leave New
Orleans. Buses were to be sent around the city to designated pick up points to
take people to the Superdome. Those who could leave but could not afford hotel
rooms were advised of a number of shelters around the state.

Anyone who could get to a bus stop could get to the dome. The stops were
well publicized through TV, radio, newspaper, and church/community
organizations. It's unfathomable to me that anyone could not know how to get
there. Anyone unable to get to a stop could call a well publicized phone number
for assistance. The city has a van system that goes door-to-door for the
handicapped. In short, everyone, regardless of health or means, had the
opportunity to get to a shelter.

And yet, despite all of that, thousands - tens of thousands, perhaps -
chose to stay in their homes and ride out the storm, despite a mandatory
evacuation order. Many of these people had to be rescued from their homes
earlier this week. These people had small children with them, pregnant women,
the elderly, and the sick. They risked their own lives, the lives of their
families, and the lives of those sent to save them.

Furthermore, resources that could have been devoted to other purposes were
diverted to save these people. I'll go into further detail below, but hospital
personnel have been robbed at gunpoint, stores looted of non-survival goods,
prison riots have occured, and worst of all, levee breashes have remained
unrepaired. Many of these problems would not have been as severe had so many
resources not been dedicated to rescuing people who would not have needed rescue
had they done what they were obliged to do under the evacuation order. I am glad
so many have been rescued, and I pray for those who haven't. But this incident
should be a lesson and a warning: your actions have consequences not only for
yourself, but for others. Heed the authorities when they tell you to
leave.

What are you going to do if you stay behind? You can't stop the wind. You
can't stop the water. You can shoot looters dead I suppose, but really, is it
worth it? We pondered this question last year before Ivan, and we concluded that
we should leave. I've never regretted evacuating.

2. Failure to repair the levees.

This is frustrating. I can accept the notion that the city may be destroyed
by a hurricane. That's why I have insurance. It's a risk you run living in New
Orleans, and we pay for it in higher rates. What is somewhat more troubling is
that the scenario that's playing out has been aniticipated for years, and yet it
seems that the Army Corps of Engineers did not have a plan for repairing a levee
breach without overland access to said breach. The interviews I've heard with
ACE personnel so far have left me with the distinct impression that they had not
thought much about this, nor planned or prepared to deal with what's happening
right now.

Even worse, Mayor Nagin was assured that ACE would send helicopters with
sandbags to the levee breaches Tuesday afternoon. The National Guard was in
position ready to place the bags. You must understand - without repair of these
levees, the city is essentially in open communication with the Gulf of Mexico
via Lake Ponchartrain. Without repair, the city cannot be pumped out and
recovery cannot begin. The helicopters, however, did not show up. They were
apparently diverted for search and rescue. Nagin called it a case of "too many
chiefs". Whoever gave the order to divert those aircraft I'm sure did so in good
faith, obviously trying to save lives. However, at a high level, someone has to
have their eye on what's best for the city overall and allocate resources
according to priority and immediacy of need. But this balancing didn't happen.
The disaster plan and chain of command need tweaking in this respect. I'll note
here that I believe the evacuation effort was far improved this time around, and
that the efforts of everyone from the Mayor on down have been commendable, and
even heroic in many cases.

3. Looting.

Referring back to item 1 for a moment, let's keep in mind that every effort
was made to encourage people to either leave or avail themselves of the shelters
provided by the city and state. It's a free country and you can't send people to
the Superdome at gunpoint (at least before the storm; now may be different). But
I believe that if you choose to stay in your home in these situations despite
all advice and caution to the contrary, you are obligated to provide for
yourself in the event that you lose power and water for the amount of time that
you are warned that you may be without them.

Of course, if you run out, I don't mind much if you simply take what you
find someplace. If somebody breaks into our house tonight, I hope they partake
of anything edible they find. They need it more than we do. Keep in mind,
however, that MRE's and other supplies are provided at the Superdome. This was
publicized.

And yes, Winn Dixie and Wal Mart have insurance. Guess who pays for
it.

Thing is, most of the looting that I've seen is a lot more than food.
There's people taking TVs, tennis shoes, whatever. And they look happy to do it.
First hand reports of rampant, wanton looting of non-essenetial items are all
over the news, the web, and word of mouth. Worse, gunmen are carjacking and
robbing innocent people, rescue workers, and hospital personnel. Nurses are
being robbed at gunpoint while attempting to evacuate hospital patients. The
people doing these things are not "desperate victims" just trying to survive.
They are criminals, and they are mistreating people who would happily help them
if given the chance. They are taking advantage of the fact that the police and
National Guard are too busy rescuing people (who should not need rescue, see
item 1) to maintain law and order. I'm really angry that so many people around
the nation and the world are seeing that what New Orleans does in a hurricane is
rob and mob. These looters disgust me, and a full accounting needs to be done
some day. Justice must be done. People must be held accountable for their
actions.

Anyway, that's my take today. We still don't know when we can go home. But
as I said above, we have a lot to be thankful for. God is merciful and we have
faith that we'll find a way forward.

CheersOwen

I asked a few questions and pointed him to cnsnews.com where they had a story on the "class warfare" aspect of the looting. His response:

Dude, I hear you about the "class warfare" stuff and the management
nightmare vs amazing rescues story lines. The real story is that so many who
could have died didn't because the city and state got the evacuation plan going
and made it work better than it had before. The problems we're having, while
preventable, are just the understandable result of fallible human beings dealing
with an unprecedented distaster. It's nobody's "fault", and mistakes happen. I'm
just upset and want an explanation as to how some of these mistakes came
about.

Really, I don't have a problem with somebody who's house is under water
breaking into my house because they need food, clothes, water, whatever. Please,
help yourself and survive. I'm angry that you chose to stay, but I want you to
live. Once you cross the line from necessities to jewelry or something like
that, now you're a looter and a criminal.

I'll go into it more in some other email, but the national correspondents
covering this story most likely don't live next to public housing the way Lucie
and I do. I don't think most of my neighbors would wantonly steal from us, but I
know some would. So yes, there are some people in New Orleans right now looking
to get theirs from some rich white guy's house. Race and New Orleans is
something we could talk about endlessly.

The billion dollar question: will there be a next time? I dunno. What I'm seeing tonight is really disheartening. Thousands keep showing up expecting to be rescued from the some and now the convention center. They're angry. This is looking bad.

Florida Gov. Blanco: "We need a higher power right now.''

In a morning gathering in Baton Rouge, Gov. Blanco, flanked by a number of religious leaders, asked for peoples' prayers to help Gulf Coast residents cope with the magnitude of the disaster.

"We need a higher power right now,'' Blanco said.

"There are a lot of people to pray for,'' she added.

Archbishop Alfred Hughes was one of the religious leaders at Blanco's side and he offered scripture and prayer.

"We are so overwhelmed, we do not know how to respond,'' Hughes said.

So, he said, we turn to prayer.

Hughes read from a letter from St. Paul to the Romans: "We know that all things work for the good of God . . ." . . . if God is for us, who can be against us?''

Katrina refugees: Setting priorities

Flickr has a group for Katrina photos that are amazing, sad and amazing both. And then there is this one. It's good to know that people find a way to get by.

There are also a few overlays being uploaded to GoogleEarthHacks where photographs of the destruction can be laid on top of the existing satellite maps.

The local YMCA is looking for people to host employees that have had to evacuate the NOLA YMCA's. We've opened our house since Sarah is off in Dallas

I wish we could do more.

Kingwood Gangstas

Gwendolyn and Miriam look like they are being sucked into one of those Kingwood sisterhood gangs. I say sisterhood because it appears that their sister Michelle is the root of this particular evil.

And Miri, sweet Miri. {sigh}

Maestro, a little music please?

More than ten years ago, I got a harmonica. It was the same time I started juggling I think. And I think my first harp was in a Klutz kit. I don't know where I lost that first one. The second got stolen. I've been blowing on my current one for more than six years now. It was a gift from Susan.

It passes time in traffic these days. Gwen and Miriam blow on it once in a while.

Today I was listening to Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends [video] for the and thought to myself how good a harp would fit in between the notes. And let me tell you, IT WAILED!

So after the song I blew this and that. Mostly sad-ish stuff as I thought about the destruction in the south and how those folks know the blues.

So why not make a recording? Enter audioblog.

For the record, I know I stink. And I know the audio quality of the media stinks. But it was fun. That counts for something.

A Tangled Relationship

I got to thinking about my best friend because her brother Owen and his wife Lucie are coming over for dinner. I hadn't seen her in a few years, since her brother's wedding in fact. But her family seems like my family and our lives have become fairly intertwined over years and miles.

{As a side note, Gwendolyn still wonders why she wasn't in that wedding. All the previous weddings she had attended she had had a formal position.}

So I drop Treloar an email. It was one of those, "Hey how are you? How have you been?"

She replies back with a general overview followed by the following:

I saw your sister in May at Ben's wedding. It was bizarre explaining to the connection. You to Owen through me, Owen to Michelle through you, Michelle to Ben through Owen. Kind of like this: Michelle's younger brother's best friend in high school is the best man's older sister, and the younger brother introduced the best man to his sister, and then the best man introduced the groom to the sister's best high school friend's older sister.

I laughed my butt off and my co-workers looked at me funny (again).

It never ceases to amaze me how lucky I am to have a friend that I relate with so well. After knowing her for 15 or 16 years, most of which were spent apart with years of no interaction, she still brings me joy.

I can't wait to see how our families intertwine as time goes by.

If you are in the Chicago area, stop on by the Notebaert Nature Museum and ask for Treloar. Tell her Aaron says "Hi!" And tell her that he misses her.

Some good does come

Hurricane Katrina has driven strangers, friends, friends of friends, and family from their homes (picture).
They left in droves this past weekend and have no idea what they'll return to.

I saw this quote about those residents that decided t stay behind:

"I'm expecting that some people who are die-hards will die hard," parish council President Aaron Broussard said.

Reports this morning say that the "second worst storm in US history" is weakening quickly but that doesn't mean a whole lot. We spent last week looking at the destruction in South Florida when Katrina was a category one storm. The same storm hitting New Orleans is a category 4. It can't be good. We are still talking 140 mph winds over 120 miles. That's a lot of wind, rain, tide surge, tornados.

There's a flickr slideshow available.

If you stayed behind in the Big Easy, why don't you head over to Molly's at the Market? I hear they are going to be open.

Two very good friends live out that way and came to Houston to wait out the storm with a friend. We haven't seen them since their wedding.

The bright side of the storm (from our point of view) is that while they are in town we'll get to see them. They are more than friends, they are family; and it's been too long.

The misuse of the word "Literally" kills me. Literally.

Twice on talk radio yesterday I heard the host misuse the word literally incorrectly. And it [literally] twists my insides up the way the use of irregardless [literally] kills my sister when she hears it's use (even though it is a real word).

In case you are not aware, "literally" does not mean that the metaphor to follow is a literary bit of prose. According to Common errors in English,

It should be used to distinguish between a figurative and a literal meaning of
a phrase. It should not be used as a synonym for "actually" or "really."

I have found that almost every use of the word is the exact opposite of it's literal meaning, literally.

Thankfully, I don't have to make eradicationtion of this misuse of language the goal of this blog. Someone has beaten me to it. Literally, A Web log has done an excellent job of collecting samples of use with commentary.

I'm going to literally add it to my news feeds.

(Wait, that wasn't witty or smart. Nuts.)

Something different tonight. Something orange.

Today's drawing

Some meetings require me to be very involved.

Give me data before hand; give me opposing views in the room or on the phone; let's make some decisions. Recap a status report that I could have read at my desk . . . . you get today's picture.

SUCCESSES THIS WEEK IN IRAQ (12-18 AUGUST 2005)

The mainstream press doesn't cover the good things that are being accomplished by our troops in Iraq; I don't think that it fits the message that they want to get out.

The fact is that our soldiers are doing good work every day. Work that needs to be done and work that won't get done if we pull out any earlier than necessary.

So in case you didn't know it, HQ United States Central Command puts out a news release weekly. This weeks lists the construction of schools, hospitals, and courthouses. It lists public work projects. It covers the increasing activity on the Iraqi Army soldiers stepping up to the plate.

If you want to read previous releases, you can do so here.

This I Believe on NPR

"Beginning in 1951, radio pioneer Edward R. Murrow asked Americans from all walks of life to write essays about their most fundamental and closely held beliefs. Half a century later, NPR, Atlantic Public Media and This I Believe, Inc. are partnering to recreate 'This I Believe' on the air and online."

I recomposed my "Today is a Good Day" essay for this series put on by NPR. I perused some of the other submissions and it's good to know that there are people out there that believe in things. That's what makes America great.

I wish that the StoryCorps booth was traveling to Houston. It's neat to see inside other's people's family. I'd like to imagine that the rest of the interview, the part that doesn't make it on the air, is just as poignant to the families involved. I'd like to interview my family about our past. Maybe that's a new project for me in my 33rd year.

It's my birthday!

Thirty-three years ago today, Deborah Klenke had a baby boy, yours truly. And the people rejoiced.

We didn't have much time to celebrate because we took Sarah to Denton, TX (just north of Dallas) to start her sophomore year at University of North Texas.


Move in went well. The dorms are nice. The menu had lots of vegetarian options and there were lots of activities for the next week or so.

After talking to a bunch of students, parents, and other people helping other people move in, this may be a great fit for Sarah. I hope so, I want her to happy and successful.

Susan says that we may celebrate my birthday in a few weeks. I am kinda ok with it but it sure would be nice to have some crazy birthday surprise today. Last year my father had his wedding on my birthday and today we moved in Sarah. It's a conspiracy I tell you!

In any case, today was a good day.

Evening doodle on the Tablet

Google Earth the Weather!

I love when cool things happen. Even more so when they deal with maps. Even MORE so when technology is involed!

Slashdot reports that the National Weather Service Forecast Office is offering XML/RSS feeds for alerts, observations, and forecasts.

And they further report that the Tulsa, OK office is offering a Google Earth layer for temperature (today up to 5 days out).



Very, very cool.

A visit to the Emergency Room

A few weeks ago I had to go to the Emergency Room. A mildly sore throat at lunch was an incredible pain at 11:30 that night. I was unable to speak and unable to swallow. I was just short of freaking out. So off to the ER I go with Susan and there I meet people. Or, to be more precise, I meet them.

I can't help but listen to things around me. I regularly invade the privacy of people talking amongst themselves. I have friends that have practiced NOT listening to conversations in restaurants and elevators but I don't have (and don't want) that skill. I listen, I hear.

So we are at the ER for three hours or so and other patients come in and out of our sphere.

There was a very poor family that had avoided going to the doctor when one of the kids had an abscess. They looked like they had been living on fast food and hope; poor, but overweight. I heard them whispering to each other how they were going to answer any questions that the admin people might ask, mostly to avoid saying that they didn't have the money to pay for the visit.
The family included a boy about six or seven. He was tired and hungry and dirty and his mother was frustrated with him when he complained about being tired and hungry.

There was a teen girl in the room next to us. She was with her mother and having female related problems. It turned out that they were the kind of problems that she got from her male partner though. She and her mom were having to make some radical adjustments to what they thought of themselves and each other. I think that they left knowing the other loved them more than they knew. But their lives and views of each other were changed forever.

A guy came in with his girlfriend. She was in a wheelchair (secured) and obviously well beyond wasted. He appeared to know the doctor, they had the repartee' of regulars. She had OD's again and was going back to rehab in the morning. He was already making arrangements and spoke like he had done it before. He looked extraordinarily tired but looked at her with love.

As we were doing our exit paperwork another family came in. An older woman, her middle aged daughter, and the daughter's husband. They met the doctor around the corner near the ambulance bay. The older woman's husband and the younger daughter's father hadn't made it to the hospital alive. The family started to talk to the doctor about a DNR but it was too late. A nurse brought the older woman a chair. No one seemed very surprised, there weren't many tears. I'm guessing they had been shed for a while in the recent past. The family sat in quiet sadness and maybe some guilty relief.

Then we were done and went home. As we were leaving we saw the little boy was hanging out in the lobby with a bunch of teens that had come in with a skateboard snapped in half. His mom wasn't around.


Me, I got a steroid shot and some painkiller. The doctor thought it might be viral but there was nothing to be done about it. I was better two days later.

I wrote a while back what makes a good day. Here's another example of how good my life is even when things seem to be going poorly. I can provide for my family. They are all healthy. My parents are around and my kids get to see them often. My older girls were home watching the younger ones and worrying about me. Susan was by my side in case I needed anything.

Sometimes people forget what a good day is. Sometimes the bad days turn out not to be so bad when put into a different perspective.

Sarah and Minny: Looking back

I can't find any digital pictures of Sarah or Michelle's newborn or kindergaten pictures to match the one of Gwen. But here they are as early as I can get. Sarah is off to University of North Texas in Denton (near Dallas) and Michelle is up to 11th grade.

Looking back as school starts

As we get ready for Kindergarten it seems like a good time to look back.
Here is Gwendolyn relaxing in what has to be early February, 2000. Which makes her about a month old.

[sorry for the low image quality, cheap webcam and low-light conditions]

Birthday list 2005

So the day is coming up and I thought I would post the list (or links to lists).

I can't say enough good things about Stardock products. So my list starts with a renewal to my Object Desktop subscription.
They also have a gaming division that uses a token system; I'd like some tokens. Take a look at TotalGaming.net.

I have a wish list at Amazon and ThinkGeek. Lots of Books, magazines, toys, clothes, movies there.

I'm not asking, I'm just listing.

Maybe Gas Prices Aren't Quite so Bad

I don't know the souce so I'm a little leary . . .but not enough not to post the chart.

It sure would be nice to have an alternate choice of fuel. But don't get me started on "hybrid" vehicles . . . that's not alternate fuel, that's just NIMBY.

Kindergarten begins

We went to the "Meet-the-teacher" event last night at the elementary school that our older kids went to.

We've been away for six years but a lot of the same faces were there. It was another piece of the community that makesthis place home.

I was bored during the introductions so I sketched out the teacher that Gwendolyn will have (along with Elmer Eagle and a bit of flag hanging on the wall).

Gwendolyn loves me more than . .

As I tuck Gwendolyn in tonight she asks for one more thing.

I'm ready to get upset with her. Miriam's crying, we've done books, and teeth and hugs and prayers and stories and every other thing a five-year-old can think of to stay up.

But I'm a good dad. I ask her "What NOW Gwen?"

She says:

"I love you Dad.
I love you more than my room and my house.
I love you more than my blankie.
I love you more than any thing.
And I love Mommy the same.
Can you tell her?"

"Of course I can Gwendolyn."

What else can I do?

Wicked cool mapping

The beta appears to be closed but for those of you who were lucky enough to grab a copy, Google Earth is amazing.

Take google maps, put high resoultion satalite imagry on it and then put all that on a globe.

Then let the user pan, rotate, and zoom around it. Let the driving directions fly over the globe showing landmarks or gas stations or whatever along the way. Maybe render in 3-D mountains and magor American cities.

I love this! I'm think now of getting an adapter for the Tablet in the car. It's THAT cool.

Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter?

I have been quiet about the decision of the Supreme court regarding eminent domain while I try to gather the will to be surprised and outraged instead of just outraged. The Supremes are breaking my heart on this issue.

But how can you not share this?

Hotel Liberty

DrunkenBlog: Get your Cow on (not what you think)

My kids have mixed feelings about being getting the kind of press that comes from being featured at DrunkenBlog: Get your Cow on (not what you think).

I only wish that some of my better (in my opinion) post were more recent. I've been pretty busy and lazy the last little bit.

Allow me to point out a few of my favorites:

• Magic Water
• Today is a good Day
• Freedom FROM Religion

The Riots of the Faithful - Orson Scott Card

Orson Scott Card writes an essay on where Newsweek went wrong and what we need to do in the face of of such behavior.

World Watch - May 15, 2005 - The Riots of the Faithful - The Ornery American:

"So Newsweek prints an uncorroborated allegation about American interrogators flushing Qurans down the toilet in order to get fanatical Muslim prisoners to talk, and there's rioting and death all over the Muslim world.
There are several lessons to be learned from this incident, some trivial, some quite important. "

Read more . . .:

Best Friends at the YMCA Spash pool. Gwendolyn and Miriam.

Grocery Store Wars

I should search out as many parodies as I can . . .but that's too much like work. Instead I'll just link them as I find them.

The following piece is brought to you by the Organic Trade Association

Link

Long, but funny

"Sexy" Cheerleading bill won't see the light

A while back I introduced you to HB-146. A bill that passed the Texas House to limit sexy moves in public schools. It came down to a "We'll know it when we see it and then we'll stop it" kind of thing.

The Senate has a little more sense I guess.

"We have some very important work to do in the next two weeks, and that's
not one of them," Republican state Sen. Florence Shapiro, who chairs the education committee, said Friday.

The fact is that parents can put a stop to bad behavior in a number of ways. But you'll have to spend time with your child and attend a rehearsal or two

1. Tell the sponsor you don't like the move.
2. Tell the other parents that you think the moves are inappropriate for your child's age.
   You may become unpopular with tea parents that don't care or don't want to stifle their child's creativity.
3. Tell your child they are not allowed to be part of the group.
   They may hate you again.

Being a parent that cares is not easy. I've got four daughters, ages 18, 16, five, and two. And there are lots of days when it would be so much easier to give in and let bad behavior go.

I want my children to be better people than me. So I make hard choices hoping they will learn from them.

Border Patrol told to stand down in Arizona -- The Washington Times

Amazing. Simply amazing.
Just one more example of the sham called homeland security.

Because the Militiamen did so well, the border patrol has been told not to patrol the same area so the civilian project does not appear successful.

Not Safe for bunny lovers

How many ways can a bunny whack itself? I couldn't stop scrolling.

More . . .

Magic Water

I think that the water at the office should be treated with a blue tint. One that can only be removed with soap. A dye like dentists give kids to chew after they brushed their teeth. I believe this would cut back on the fallacy of magic water. Magic water is the water that comes out of the sink and kills any germs or bacteria without the use of soap.

I'm amazed how many of my co-workers believe in magic water. And they disgust me. And those people who are on their way out of the restroom and do a little jog to the sink as they see someone coming in; ugh.

Now we get personal . . . you've been warned.

I shower in the morning. And I put on clean shorts. I'm clean when I leave the house. Throughout the day I open doors, I share keyboards. I might pump gas using a nozzle that has been touched by millions of people and never been cleaned.
My hands get dirty. Germ and bacteria covered. I wouldn't eat off those hands.
So I wash my hands before I eat. And . . . I wash my hands before I use the restroom. And I wash them when I'm done.

Everything important is clean. And I would be willing to take the blue water test.

Miriam takes a lap

Miriam was jealous when she saw the picture of Gwendolyn on her bike.

"My turn, my turn, MY TURN!"

So here you are, my impatient little imp.

Texas OnLine Lottery Bill fails

We spoke about the bill before the Texas House here. It looks like there is some sense in Texas Government.

Of course we still have bills like HB 146 that

" . . .relates to promoting and furthering self-respect in middle and high school students by prohibiting sexually suggestive performances by dance, drill, cheerleading or any other performance group at school sponsored events. "

How are we going to define "sexually suggestive"? The bill's author, Rep. Al Edwards, also a Democrat from Houston, responded by noting that the activity that would be banned "is like sex -- you'll know it when you see it."

I can see it now, there will be two groups of people volunteering to observe rehearsals; prudes, parents, and perverts. And the smallest group represented will be the parents.

TSA asking for Name & B-day

A U.S. Army soldier comforting a child

Iraq on Yahoo! News Photos

Picture released by the U.S. Army Tuesday, May 3, 2005 shows a U.S. Army soldier comforting a child fatally wounded in a car bomb blast in Mosul, 360 km (225 miles) northwest of Baghdad, Iraq, Monday, May 2, 2005. 15 Iraqis were wounded in the combined suicide bomb attack.
(AP Photo/U.S. Army)

I have no words . . .

Don't Let Texas Legalize High Cost Payday Loans

From Consumers Union:

Texas legislators are about to consider HB 846, a bill being pushed by payday lenders. The bill would legalize interest rates of more than 700 percent in Texas by authorizing payday loans under Texas law.

Payday loans are short-term, high-interest loans that are supposed to tide you over between paydays. But the interest rates on these loans exceed 700 percent, and often trap borrowers in a cycle of debt. On average, payday loan borrowers make between 8 and 13 of these
loans each year. Frequently borrowers can only afford to make the interest payment and make no progress paying off the original debt.

---

These loans are evil. There is no other word for them. If you are in Texas, let your representation know that you think this is a bad idea; an evil idea.

If you are not a Texan, see what your state's laws are and try to put a stop to it. Those readers I have in Wisconsin, congratulations to you for having a governor that stands up for the poor there.
The Federal Trade Commission has some hints to avoid using these services.

Here's a report on a study (I couldn't find much in the way of statistics on the web, which concerns me) from 2002 that describes the situation pretty well (as far as I understand it).

The facts are that users of the loans look at the fee for the loan, not the interest. And the loan companies know that their target consumer will likely have to roll over the loan a time or two. The APR then kills the borrower. And as far as profits go. The research I did shows a profit of around 35%.

Deadbeat cookie sales: Girl Scouts sue to recoup money

Man! The Girl Scouts are tough in Wisconsin! They are suing the families of Girls Scouts that have not turned in thier money and buyers that have bounced checks. One suit is claiming $1,485.68 - cookies plus damages. That's a lot of thin mints! {420 boxes for those who were wondering.}

Waukesha - A usually unseen side of the Girl Scouts' annual cookie sale surfaced
Thursday when the Great Blue Heron Council of the organization filed small-claims lawsuits accusing two couples and three women of not ponying up for goodies they ordered.

"Please note that non-payment for Girl Scout cookies represents fraud," the council noted in form letters that preceded the legal action, according to the lawsuits. "We are willing to work with you to set up a repayment plan; however, you must call within the next two weeks to make these arrangements. Link

On being happy

Last month I was involved in an email chain amongst some friends and I was led to respond. Alice has been having extra-ordinary bad luck; out of work, chronic pain, car troubles, kid troubles, lots of pain in her past. Bob thought his troubles were worse and was wondering how to be happy.

Email is probably not the best way to answer you Bob, but I'm going to take a shot anyway.

Alice has more faith in God than anyone I have ever known. I look up to her as a model for the kind I faith I want. But I would be hard pressed to say she is doing well. She has had a hard past and a tough present and none of us can imagine her future. But her life is filled with joy, and hope, and love.

You're in a tough spot too. You seem to be so unhappy. And I wish I could help but I have learned that happiness really does come from within.

When I was stuck in jobs I hated; I looked how I could do my job better and learn something and serve others. And at the same time I looked for other jobs. When I was working three jobs and still losing money; buying rotten potatoes so I could eat the good parts and filling my pockets with ketchup from McDonalds to make soup later; I moved across the country and started over.

I remember thinking that I needed an education to get ahead. I thought about prison as a step up from where I was; food every day, TV, a degree.

When I became unhappy with my social life; my friends, the things I was doing; I made a choice to do other things. And I lost friends and was lonely.

When my sister died and my parents divorced and made poor choices; I had to stretch to find the blessings in my life.

I find them every day now. Today is a good day Bob. Today can be a great day if you look for the little things and find joy in them.

A few things that might help (I have done or am doing them all):

• Twelve step programs. I don't care what someone's problems are, they are awesome steps
• Prayer
• Living this life as if it were penance. Or maybe a step towards heaven. Either way, live a good life, do good works, actively try to bring joy or faith or hope or love to others
• Volunteer with those who have lost more than you.
• Smile.
• Tell other people good things when they ask "How's it going?"
• Never complain about Mondays and never wait for Fridays. If you don't like doing what you do Monday through Friday you are doing the wrong thing. Maybe you should be building shelters in Sri Lanka?
• Go to 1/2 priced books and pick up 14,000 Things to be Happy About if you need some help finding happy things. Or you can have my copy and I'll buy a new one for myself.
• Stop eatingmeat. {Just kidding}

I want you to be happy Bob. I want to help. I wish I was more empathetic or sympathetic. But it's not about me and my choices. It's about you and yours.

I used to have a poem on my wall. It went something like this:

Look well to THIS day.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But TODAY well lived
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, THIS day.

Good luck on the journey you are on Bob. You have options; walk alone, walk with us, walk with God. But sometime you have to just get off your ass and walk. :-) And smile while you do it. {Even if you are faking it, someone will smile back, then you really smile . . .and everyone has a better day} .

God bless you Bob,
God bless you Alice,
God bless us everyone. We all need it.

Gwendolyn cuts a turn

For Michael . . .

Texas Lottery on line

What a brilliant idea! Let people lose money on-line! As long as the state is going to let the masses give money, they might as well make it easy. Right?

April 26, 2005, 6:37AM

Texas closer to selling lottery tickets
online
Associated Press

AUSTIN — Texas would become the first state to sell lottery tickets online under legislation has received approval by a state legislative panel.

Under the bill approved by the state House Appropriations Committee on Monday, players also would be able to pay for lottery tickets with a debit card and establish a Texas Lottery Commission account that would draw down as they bought tickets.
The proposal was inserted in a larger bill, which would allow motorists to display one license plate on the rear of a vehicle.

Rep. Jim Pitts, the committee chairman and bill author, said Internet sales of lottery
tickets would earn an additional $100 million a year. The lottery raised $1 billion last year for schools.

Rep. Carlos Uresti, D-San Antonio, a supporter of the bill, described its chances in the full House as 50-50.

Rep. Myra Crownover, R-Denton, objected to the proposal, saying it could give children access to buying tickets and easier access could fuel gambling addictions.

And another thing; the lotto funds go to the General fund and are marked for education. But once in the general fund they are available to any other program.

Guess-the-Google

What a great game! You have to guess the keyword that generated the google images presented. My first score was 197. The high is 397.

Leave your score in the comments.

The Penguins are Coming!!

Sometimes profiling works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think in the case of these guys . . . we are all a little safer.

Link Courtesy of boingboing.net

Sick Day/Game Day

Strep throat is no fun. But I think I caught it early and I'm not hurting too badly. Susan has been awesome taking care of me. Last night she made oatmeal cookies for me. This morning I had to work, and she made and brought me coffee. She's the best. I can't believe she loves me as much as she does. I don't ask questions anymore; I just accept it.

Game time:

This game reminds me of a time when I was doodling spaceships when I should have been studying.




This one I played as a text-based adventure years ago too. And with the current hype (or lack of) for the new movie . . .

What makes a requirements document

A Slashdot reader asked what made a good requirements document. The following response was more true to what I've experienced. I thought I would share.

1. Talk to the various stakeholders. Hold meetings. Get everyone's input on what's the Right Thing To Do.
2. To the degree these ideas are not the Wrong Thing, do them, even if they're less efficient than you'd like, or are less fun to code. You're going to be giving them a prostate exam with a cheese grater in a couple of steps, so soothe their egos proactively by letting their ideas make it into the final product.
3. Take the draft to your dev team. Circulate copies, have everyone read it, then have a short meeting--one hour, tops--not to discuss how to do things, but which parts of the design will require a lot of experimentation and fiddling.
4. If your dev team doesn't already have someone fluent in Corporate Weaselspeak, then get one.
5. Give your translator this sentence: "We will use our magic powers to accomplish this part of the design document." Have him turn it into a five-page monstrosity that lets every stakeholder think these difficult parts are going to be done their way, without really committing your dev team to anything.
6. Take the weaselized design doc back to the stakeholders. Your Corporate Weasel's job is to make the stakeholders sign off on it.
7. The easy and routine parts of the job get done the way the stakeholders want, assuming their way isn't completely braindamaged. The hard parts of the job will be solved by your development team's magic powers. It's right there in the design document.
8. Bring the project to completion. As you're doing the hard part, write This Is How It Really Works documentation for engineers who are coming after you.
9. When your project is ready for handoff, make sure to praise the (easy, routine) parts for which you used Marketing's ideas of how the software ought to be written.
10. Gloss over the fact that you did the hard part via magic powers. The other stakeholders probably don't care. You're giving them a beautiful bullet point for their end-of-year performance eval. That's what they care about at this point.
11. Move on to the next project. ...

Is all this weasel office politics? Damn straight. On the other hand, it's weasel office politics meant to shield your development team from unnecessary weasel office politics. As much as we hate weasel office politics, sometimes it's necessary.

Site Updates

I'm oftentimes fascinated by the google ads on some of the blogs I read. I don't think that I'll often generate enough traffic to make much money of them but I am now part of the many using AdSense by Google. I'm not asking you to click on the links, but if you see an interesting ad associated with a post, drop me a line.

I've also added MapBlog. You'll see a map of where I am and other registered blogs in my vicinity. It was developed by a MapPoint developer at Microsoft. If your in the area, drop me a note; we'll discuss the topic of the day.

Current reading list

Red Storm Rising - Tom Clancy: I just started this again. I was in the mood for something light and Clancy always fits the bill for me.

Asimov's Guide to the Bible - Isaac Asimov: You want the history around the Bible. This is your book. The book is a bit dated, but when one writes about a book 2000 years old . . . the dating is not so much an issue.

Island of the Day Before - Umbreto Eco: This is the book on the back burner. I'm reading it, but it's hard. I really enjoyed The Name of the Rose and Baudolino by Eco. Interesting, fun reads. With a taste of European history thrown in. I've started Island a few times over the last few years. I can never finish it. It just goes on . . . and on . . . and on. The only other books I have started and not finished are Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and some mystery about a female FBI agent that my sister gave me. I don't remember why I quit on Zen. I think it was because I was expecting so much more than it was. The FBI chick book spent more time on feelings than on suspense. Ugh.

Next on the list: If on a Winter Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino. It was recommended by my cousin Lisa, whom I love. After that I think will be System of the World by Neal Stephenson. The first book in the series rocked, the second was enjoyable. I'm hoping that Jack plays a more prominent role in the third.

Updated! Which religion (or lack of) is the right one for me (or you)?

Today there was a confluence of events that had to do with spirituality and religion. The first was one of those stupid on-line polls and the other was the release (Washington Times story) of a report on Generation Y and faith sponsored by Reboot, a non-profit to encourage the traditions of Judaism for a modern age.

As is often the case when I read these types of reports, I find myself going, "Oh, I knew that," and "How interesting."

"This study is informed by three goals:

1. To ascertain how young people are coming to understand
   their religious identity;
2. To describe what their religious practices look like in
   this era of customization and change; and
3. To explore the ways religious identity informs the civic
   participation of today's youth. Throughout, we were careful to note that
   religious life does not operate in a vacuum and we embed the role religion in
   the context of their other concerns, such as finding a job or getting good
   grades in school."

The breakdown is that in Gen Y (18-25 year olds) 27% are Godly, 27% God-less, and 46% are undecided.

The Godly are becoming less focused on denomination though. They are more interested in expressing faith in more personal ways. They are diverse, only 7% reported friends being the same faith.

Gen Y members are more liberal that previous generational groups. They are not as engaged in politics though. But the Godly are more involved than the God-less or undecided.

It's an interesting report.

The results of my on-line survey are no surprise. I define myself as a searcher. I'm not happy as an agnostic, or atheist, or one of the saved. I'm like the teaser for the X-Files; I want to believe.

I am not sure what "Gen" I am. Depending on time and place I'm a Boomer, an X-er and a touch of Y. Religiously, I am a agnostic theist. I look at the world and say to myself, "Self, something wonderful had to have put all this in motion." Followed by, "Self, this place is a mess. Who would do a thing like this?"

---

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe. Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)

Update: UCLA's Higher Education Research Institute released another survey Wednesday. Their report expresses a view that young people are looking for spirituality but not religion. [Executive Summary]

Thank Goodness my kids are good looking

Researchers show parents give unattractive children less attention

A researcher at the University of Alberta has shown that parents are more likely to give better care and pay closer attention to good-looking children compared to unattractive ones. Dr. Andrew Harrell presented his findings recently at the Warren E. Kalbach Population Conference in Edmonton, Alberta.

Harrell's findings are based on an observational study of children and shopping cart safety. With the approval of management at 14 different supermarkets, Harrell's team of researchers observed parents and their two to five-year-old children for 10 minutes each, noting if the child was buckled into the grocery-cart seat, and how often the child wandered more than 10 feet away. The researchers independently graded each child on a scale of one to 10 on attractiveness.

Findings showed that 1.2 per cent of the least attractive children were buckled in, compared with 13.3 per cent of the most attractive youngsters. The observers also noticed the less attractive children were allowed to wander further away and more often from their parents. In total, there were 426 observations at the 14 supermarkets.

Harrell, who has been researching shopping cart safety since 1990 and has published a total of 13 articles on the topic, figures his latest results are based on a parent's instinctive Darwinian response: we're unconsciously more likely to lavish attention on attractive children simply because they're our best genetic material.

"Attractiveness as a predictor of behaviour, especially parenting behaviour, has been around a long time," said Harrell, a father of five and a grandfather of three. "Most parents will react to these results with shock and dismay. They'll say, 'I love all my kids, and I don't discriminate on the basis of attractiveness.' The whole point of our research is that people do."

###

Dr. Harrell is the executive director of the Population Research Lab at the University of Alberta. He can be reached at 780-492-4659 or aharrell@ualberta.ca.

---

See?

Social Security and you

I don't expect social security to be there for me in any significant way. And I believe that it's a bad thing as a whole. It's not the role of the government to make people save.

The thought process is that since Americans don't save voluntarily, if the feds don't make us save now, they'll have to pay for our upkeep after we have stopped earning an income.

My uncle John sent me the text of the following link. It contains an editorial originally in the Wall Street Journal. I have read it a few times now and, in all honesty, I need to read it a few more times. He thinks I'm much smarter than I am.

I'll let him introduce it:

"Below is an article in last weeks Wall Street Journal. I thought it was an idea that was likely to start getting some air time in Washington and appears to be a reasonable compromise on solving social security issues.

Like you, I'd like to have them pay what was promised. We all know that is mathematically impossible. This seems to be a workable solution. You should know about it.

Here's the deal, you are getting this email because you are likely to be asked one more time to solve a problem. Why? Because you are or will be successful. Hence, you are most likely to receive less from social security while others receive their promised benefits. The article below uses the term "progressive indexing". A fancy term for means testing. However, it takes from you in a way that is likely more palatable than raising taxes, currently or in the future, doesn't require the income limit to be raised beyond how Congress already changes the base, provides a workable solution to solvency, allows individual specific accounts and has much less effect on current deficits.
Enjoy.

Hope all of you are well. "

"When the late Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan was asked why he favored personal Social Security accounts, he liked to answer in two words: "wealth inequality." That insight is also driving a useful idea now being tossed into the reform debate -- "progressive indexing." More

The other link concerns "designer social security." The gist of it comes down to options.

• Pick when you want to retire.
• Pick how much you want as a benefit when you retire.
• Pick how much you want to invest now.
• Pick where you want to invest your money.

New York Post article.

I like the idea of choices. It makes the concept of paying for people that didn't think of the future more palatable.

"Today is a good day"

How many times have you heard this conversation?

"How's it going?"
"It's Monday."
Or "Thank God it's Friday."
Or "At least it's payday"

For years I heard people answer that question with those answers or not even pay attention to the question and respond with an "OK" in passing. I actually found myself doing the same thing more often than not.

One day I realized that I was tired of the life I was leading myself into. Part of it was probably related to hearing the Dave Ramsey radio program. When asked by a caller how he was doing he answered "Better than I deserve." He thought about his response.

So I decided to start doing the same thing and answering questions with real thought.

I decided to be positive. I started out by thinking about the things that were making my life less than it should have been. I found that my life was pretty good. I have an awesome family. A job I love. Friends. Leisure time. Hobbies. I have a good life. The things in my days that were negative were fleeting.

After some introspection, I found that amongst time with family, time working, time sleeping, and general crappy-ness, most of my day was good. Very little was THAT bad. Most days are good days.

Then I made an internal scale of days. A great day is a day that has a child's birth. Another great day was my wife accepting my marriage proposal. The terrible day on my scale is the death of my little sister. She was born on my birthday and was the best gift I ever got or will ever get.

I know it's possible to have worse days. I'm sure mine can't compare with some. But that's my current scale.

So now, when people ask me how I am doing or a related question, I stop and think about the day so far. I think about my expectations for the rest of the day. I think about my scale. And I answer, "Today is a good day."

It's amazing how many people stop after hearing that response. Then they ask me why. It's easy to find something that made today good. Some days it may be that I woke up alive again. I have days like that too.

I've been doing this for a few months now. And I am hearing other people say it now. And I am seeing people smile when they say it; when they hear it.

The real point is that I am reminded by my own response every time I say it.

I believe that today is a good day.

Deep Fried Live!

This is the only on-line cooking show hosted by a cephelapod that I am aware of.

It's not veggie freindly, but some of the nicest people I know eat the dead flesh of animals.
Freaks.

New feature at Google

I love maps in general. I like looking at them and reading the names of places. Maybe following up with a little history about a joint.

So I saw thins and decided to share.

"Look ma! I can see my house from here!"


Map feature in Google


With satellite imagry!!

365 and a Wakeup

I don't recall where I ran across this blog article by a soldier deployed in Iraq. (I really should take better notes.) His post on why HE was in Iraq touched me. He's there because it's the right thing to do. And he tells it much better than I could.

"What SPC Frances said as he sheepishly stood before my desk staring at the floor was “Sir, you’re like, ummmm, you know, really smart. And you’re doing this when you could ummmm, you know, so many other things. Don’t you wish you were, ummm doing something better?”.

The question is one I’ve heard from several well meaning individuals, but never, ever from a soldier. If it were possible I would have torn the implicit assumption that question housed and crushed it beneath my muddy heels. Because wrapped in that question like two fat maggots in an otherwise perfect roast sits two false postulates that have poisoned many clear thinking individuals. The first deadly lie is that soldiers are stupid. The second is that the Army is a dumping ground for people with no other options.

I paused for a long moment after SPC Frances asked his question, unsure of how to answer the question and simultaneously leach its poisonous implications. . . [More]

He's why I support the troops; why I vote for the people I vote for; why I talk to people about why they should do the same.

There is evil in the world. People like him are the reason people like you and I don't have to deal with it. People like him are heroes.

Intimacy within a group of friends

I was talking last week with some friends about intimacy; how we as a group get together weekly and have been for years and there is still a hesitation to open up and be intimate with the group.

I think that the biggest deterrent that came up was a fear of being judged.

As usual, I have mixed feelings about this.

I think that as responsible people we have an obligation to judge. I think that a fear of being judged poorly is a control in our society. I further think that judging within a group will improve (more on this in a second) one's powers of judgment.

The hard part about judging is finding balance. I tell my kids that they should assume people are good. But I also tell them that if there a person who looks wrong walking toward you, move away from them. There's a thin line between reasonable pre-judging based on experience and wisdom and prejudice based on fear and stereotype.

I think there are things that we all want to do or have wanted to do in the past that society as a whole may not have approved of. Maybe things that aren't illegal but just not right. What defines "not just right"? Other people. Other people judging you. It's a good thing.

The function of group judgment should be wicked strong (as they might say in the Boston of my imagination). The trick there is the group that's doing the judgment. If the judging group is not a sampling of the greater whole; instead, is a group that might reinforce the behavior being judged; all benefits of judgment is lost. If the fear of being judged harshly is stopping a person from revealing a behavior, perhaps they need to evaluate stopping that behavior.

Group judgment does not have to be negative though. Positive reinforcement is likely and should be encouraged. The above points are just as valid (with the alteration of the anticipation of being judged positively in place of fear of poor judgment).

In regards to intimacy, the evening made me recall a . . . . Poem (?) from my youth that has stuck with me over the years.

It was written by Piers Anthony to a teenager who was in desperate need of love. He wrote about her in the author's note of Wielding Red Sword (Full Note). I extracted the poem here:

• Chapter One: Once upon a time, there was a little unicorn. She lived in a shell.
• Chapter Two: There was a funny thing about this shell. No one else could see it.
• Chapter Three: But to her, it was very heavy, as if an elephant were on it.
• Chapter Four: Sometimes that shell just seemed to crush all the happiness right out of her.
• Chapter Five: Of course, she wasn't really a unicorn, because little unicorns don't' live in shells.
• Chapter Six: She was really an alicorn, which is a flying unicorn. Her mane was brown.
• Chapter Seven: Alicorns live in shells, because they like privacy. When anyone comes near, they close.
• Chapter Eight: Of course that means that hardly anyone ever sees an alicorn, which is unfortunate.
• Chapter Nine: Because alicorns are really very special creatures, when they come out of their shells.
• Chapter Ten: But the little unicorn didn't know she was an alicorn. She wanted to die. 
• Chapter Eleven: This is because a magical creature who stifles her magic is in deep trouble.
• Chapter Twelve: No one else understood about this, because no one else could see the shell.
• Chapter Thirteen: Except for maybe on old centaur; but he was too far away to help.
• Chapter Fourteen: He hoped the little unicorn would learned to fly, before she learned to die.

For me, intimacy with people outside of family never seemed to be necessary. It never paid to get too close to anyone because either they would move or you would move. I was never that close to my extended family; didn't have any close cousins to confide in. Even within my own family I don't recall being very intimate. It's just the way I'm wired I guess.

I try though. I see the value in it. And I'm getting better all the time. Practice, practice, practice.

Reflections on the Pope's passing

Yesterday I got a call from a non-Catholic friend offering condolences on the passing of Pope John Paul II. Susan said that she got a similar email. It's good to see that people of differing faiths can come together in so many things but especially at a time of sadness.

I saw the Pope say mass once. Granted, I was like a mile away but I felt it was something special, almost magical. He was God's spokesman and he spoke to us. It rocked.

Everyone and their mother on the internet is saying something about him and his passing. And I think that more will be said as time passed and history has time to judge.

But for me, I think that he died peacefully, perhaps joyfully.

When I was a student at St. Mary's College (now University of St. Mary) I worked food-service at the Sister's of Charity Motherhouse. It was a nursing home for nuns. And when these women became sick and got ready to die, they were seemed very happy. Happy to leave the weight of weak bodies and slipping minds. They expressed that they were ready be with God after years of service.

How great is that? Not just that you have been saved, but you gave your life to Him and now you get your reward.

And those were just your average (!) everyday nun. I'm going to assume that even a man as humble as John Paul II is looking forward to a reward for a job done well.

Rest in peace and Joy Karol Józef Wojtyła. You deserve it.

--Nunc dimittis servum tuum, Domine, secundum verbum tuum in pace
----Luke 2:29
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word